Friday, 2 November 2007

Fashion Rocks. Or Not.

Catherine Groom writes about fashion.

Swarovski Fashion Rocks for the Princes Trust
Channel 4, 20th October, 10.30pm.

Very little about Fashion Rocks, rocked. Uma Thurman and Samuel L. Jackson read a boring and slow autocue, the former disappearing every so often for no apparent reason and the latter changing outfits with every breath.
All the fashion veterans were there from Dolce and Gabbana to Valentino who was awarded with a giant Swarovski crystal for lifetime achievement as he leaves the fashion scene this year. They turned out the usual show material ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous; Gucci and Christopher Kane produced some particularly beautiful dresses, sharp lines set against flowing skirts being the order of the day. There were also a couple of fairly new fashion faces, namely Georgina Chapman and Keren Craig who appeared to be much better dressed than their models. Their feathery, gold designs had a tendancy to look cheap but somehow seemed a good match for their musical sponsor Shirley Bassey.
Other good matches included Lily Allen who appeared from under the 100ft Swarovski chandelier looking stunning in a blue knee-length Chanel dress, but then she always wears Chanel. Valentino forced Nicole Scherzinger into an attractive purple number, dragging her away from her trampy Pussycat Dolls image for which she felt the need for a vomit-inducing dedication at the end of her whingy new song. For the first time in her life Joss Stone had to think about fashion, shedding her usual hippy rags and appearing for Calvin Klein looking exceedingly uncomfortable in a plain white fitted dress.
The musical acts made some attempt to rock the boat. Iggy Pop opened the night by throwing himself around a lot and actually interacting with the models, much to the apparent horror of several members of the huge Albert Hall audience. New band Shy Child played a brilliant game of musical chairs for Stella McCartney’s models who even appeared to be enjoying themselves. Razorlight’s Johnny Borrell continued his rebellious streak by smoking - or rather holding a lit cigarette - whilst performing. In a public building? Shock horror! In her own political statement Beth Ditto hitched up her skirts to reveal the words ‘BLOOD 4 OIL’ written across her legs before flinging her stilettos into the audience. Perhaps if Dame Edna Everage’s lame cocaine jokes had been true for the musicians as well as the models the evening would have been a little more fun.
The Sugababes attempted to steal the evening with their finale of Lady Marmalade with special guest Pattie La Belle and a bizarre water feature but a distinct lack of fashion.
Oh and the Princes Trust? Barely mentioned. Something to do with helping some guy in prison...

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